Trans Kids Deserve Support
I want to talk about the importance of supporting your trans kid by sharing my own experience coming out to my family, the struggles we faced, and how our relationship has grown over time. It wasn’t always easy, and there were moments of uncertainty, but their support has made all the difference. Every trans kid deserves to feel safe, loved, and accepted, and that kind of support can truly change lives. So let me tell you how that kind of support saved mine…
Coming out to my family for the third time was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It wasn’t because I didn’t love them—because I do, deeply—but because telling them that I wanted to be a boy, that they would no longer have a daughter, was absolutely terrifying. I knew it would be a shock, no matter how much I hoped for immediate acceptance. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell them the full truth when I tried. No matter how much you prepare, you’re never going to get the exact response you want. And that’s something I had to come to terms with. My parents weren’t necessarily educated on the trans community, and I didn’t give them much time to process before cutting my hair and asking them to use he/him pronouns. Looking back, I think I could have given them a little more grace. But in the moment, it hurt. It hurt to hear their hesitation, their stumbles over my name and pronouns, and to feel like I was suddenly a stranger to them.
But here’s the thing: understanding takes time. Change takes time. And even though I wanted them to get it right immediately, I had to allow them room to adjust. I had lived 21 years as a daughter, a sister—their little girl. And while I was still very much alive, I needed to give them time to “grieve” that version of me. At the time, I resented it. It felt unfair that I had to be patient when I had already waited so long to be seen for who I really was. But as I’ve grown, I understand now that their journey was different from mine. It wasn’t about rejection—it was about learning. Learning to love this new version of myself.
I almost lost my relationship with my brother when I came out. It was rough between us, and there was a time when I thought we’d never be close again. But now? He’s my best friend. It just took time. And while I know how exhausting it is to wait for people to get it right—especially when you’re already carrying so much—it’s a process. But the people who love you will put in the effort to learn, and those are the ones worth keeping.
Today, my family and I are closer than we’ve ever been. They love me for who I am, not who they thought I was supposed to be. And yet, I still get hate comments from strangers who can’t wrap their heads around the idea that a family could love and support their trans kid.
I’ve been told my parents “failed.” That I’m a “disappointment.” That I must not have a father because “no real man” would ever accept his kid being trans. That my mom “failed to do her job”. And to those people, I have to ask: how can you hate support? How can you hate happiness?
My parents’ love didn’t fail me—it saved me. I don’t know where I’d be today if they had turned their backs on me. Truly. The reality is, so many trans kids don’t get the support they deserve. They get kicked out, disowned, left to figure things out on their own. And that’s not okay. No child should have to fight to be loved.
Right now, my family is in the process of selling our childhood home, so I’ve been reflecting a lot on the memories tied to this place. Some of them are painful. Some of them are sad. But more than anything, they remind me of how far we’ve come. They remind me that I am loved, that I am seen, and that I belong. This home gave me a safe space to become the man I am today. And I couldn’t be more grateful for that.
Every trans kid deserves that kind of home. They deserve to feel safe, supported, and accepted. They deserve a family who chooses love over ignorance. And if my story proves anything, it’s that people can grow. People can learn. Families can change.
So to the trans kids out there: you deserve support. You deserve love. And if you don’t have it now, I hope with everything in me that you find people who will stand by you the way my family stands by me. Because this kind of love? It’s life-saving.
