PROJECTS & NFTS
AWARENESS SELF PORTRAITS
In Progress
As a trans artist and photographer, I want my photography to mean something. I want my work to change people’s opinions on certain topics and really start conversations. The point of my awareness and exposure photography is to promote certain topics that so many people don’t talk about. This includes trans awareness but it also includes topics such as abortion or anything else that needs to be talked about that’s going on in this country. The world is filled with so much hate, if I could somehow advocate for the people and the topics that need it, I’m going to try my best to do that through my photography. For a lot of these topics, I also have a blog post talking in more detail on it if you wanted to check out my blog below!
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F*ck Your Transphobia
In honor of trans awareness week I wanted to somehow use my photography to raise awareness for the discrimination and the struggles that trans people face everyday. I wanted to capture the constant transphobia I experience in my own life. I put some of the most hurtful things people have called me or have said to me since coming out as trans all over my body. There is truly too much hate in this world, especially towards the trans community.
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Bottom Growth
I’m assuming most people don’t have much knowledge about trans bodies so as always, I wanted to dedicate a photoshoot of mine to start conversations. Trans people deserve to be recognized and that includes our bodies too.
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2 Years on Testosterone
I planned this shoot specifically for my 2 year on T mark. I hope that this post and this photoshoot brings awareness to trans lives. Trans people deserve to be seen and deserve to be heard because our lives aren’t easy.
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Trans Athletes Belong In Sport
Transgender athletes competing in their sport as the gender they identify as has been an on-going topic of conversation. As always, I want my photography to draw attention and educate people about important topics advocating for the trans community. I wanted this shoot to bring more awareness to trans athletes, because there’s been a lot of tension recently, especially against trans women competing in the women’s category. Most people have formed their opinions based on judgement and false information. This issue is not about fairness, it’s about transphobia.
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Sexualization of Trans Bodies
With this particular shoot I wanted to bring attention to the sexualization of trans people. It’s hard enough trying to love your body as a trans person in today’s society but it’s even harder when your body is the thing in question all the time. Trans people do not owe anyone answers about what’s in our pants. So stop asking us. our gender is not an excuse to objectify us or our bodies.
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Misgendering
I’ve been misgendered often. Whether it was purposefully or not, it affects my dysphoria. I wanted to somehow capture the emotions I as a trans man, experience when being misgendered. The best way I know how to do that is through my photography.
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Non-Binary People Are Valid
In honor of international non-binary people’s day I wanted to do another awareness photoshoot. although i do not identify as non-binary, I am in the trans community, so I want to be able to be a voice of some sort for my community. non-binary people rarely ever get the respect they deserve, so I hope my photos bring attention to that.
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Ugly Parts of Being Trans
There’s a lot of ugly parts that come along with being trans which aren’t talked about enough so as always, I wanted to dedicate another photoshoot to bring those kind of conversations to the table. Pride isn’t just about celebrating queer people. It’s also about educating yourself and understanding the struggles we as a community face. There are a lot of parts of being trans that are extremely difficult to deal with. Although I’m proud of who I am, I wish I didn’t have to deal with these parts of being trans.
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Abortion is a Human Right
With the recent overturning of Roe vs. Wade I wanted to dedicate another photoshoot to bring awareness to this subject. It’s a lot more serious than people may think. Abortion is a basic HUMAN right… for people of all genders. The effects of the government taking away our rights doesn’t stop at just abortion.
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Drag Queens Are Not the Problem
In case anyone forgot, Texas lawmakers want to make it illegal for parents to bring their kids to drag shows because apparently it’s necessary to protect children from “perverted adults.” Any argument towards this statement includes the idea that “Kids are safer at schools or their church than a drag show.” Drag queens are not the problem here. Kids need to be protected from GUNS, not queer people.
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Deadnaming
With this shoot, I wanted to bring attention to deadnaming in the trans community. If you don’t know what a deadname is, essentially it’s a trans person’s birth name that they changed to better fit who they are. In the most simplest terms, a dead-name is called a dead-name for a reason. it’s dead. So if i’m going to give anyone advice on this, it’s to never refer to a trans person as their deadname. whether their name is legally changed or not, always make sure you know their preferred name and pronouns before referring to them.
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Bisexual Awareness Week
As a bisexual trans man I thought I would do a shoot to bring awareness to my fellow bi community. We’re often overlooked when it comes to our validity so I hope these photos either resonate with you, teach you something, make you think a little more about the LGBTQ+ community, or all of the above. Sexuality is a spectrum, you should be able to love who you want to love no matter their gender.
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Dating As A Trans Person
I, as a trans man, am in a straight relationship with my cis-gender girlfriend. I wanted to do a photoshoot with her to showcase that trans love is real as long as there’s respect on both ends. She painted her nails with the trans colors to make the photos pop more and i had her write on my body while I wrote on her hands. For so long, I never thought I would find someone who would love me for everything I am, because as a trans man, there’s a lot to unpack there. But it doesn’t need to be as hard as so many people might think it is. Trans people deserve love too, so let them be loved for who they are.
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Transgender Representation In Media
I wanted to do a shoot to talk a bit about transgender representation in media. For those who don’t know, this is how the news, tv, movies, books, etc portray trans stories and characters. I wanted to do a shoot based on this so I thought this was a great opportunity for me to use an actual news outlet and turn it into art. Trans people deserve to be talked about more and represented the correct way in the news. Now transgender representation in media is extremely important but what’s more important is ACCURATE trans representation in media.
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Love Over Hate
One year ago I did a photoshoot to raise awareness for the discrimination and the struggles that trans people face. I put some of the most hurtful things people have called me/said to me all over my body. This year, I wanted to recreate that photoshoot but with a more positive outlook. I changed and edited each hate comment to a more positive statement for my community. Turned hate into love. I wanted this shoot to represent how we should be treating the trans community. Start correcting others. Stop being silent when you hear someone being transphobic. We need more love replacing the constant hate the trans community faces in this society.
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Holiday Reminders
With Christmas tomorrow I wanted to send some love to anyone struggling during the holidays. it’s a tough time, especially for those who might not be surrounded by the most supportive people. The holidays can be especially challenging for the LGBTQ+ community so I hope these photos reach the right audience.
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New Years Resolutions
2022 has been a crazy year for me. Self portraits have become my way to advocate for my community and create this dialogue with my work. So I thought I would do a shoot focused on resolutions for the new year. I hope this might give some advice to anyone who needs it going into 2023.
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Trans Joy is Real
I feel like we don’t talk enough about the happiness that comes with being trans too. I wanted to do a self portrait shoot to start the year in a positive direction. Although bringing attention to the dysphoria and the discrimination that so many trans people face is important, I want to make sure I talk about the euphoria too. I want people to know that sometimes there are these moments in the trans journey that are beautiful. There is a certain peace that comes with finally learning who you are and being comfortable in your own skin.
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Loving Your Scars
2 years ago I was finally able to get the surgery that I needed to finally feel comfortable in my body. Top surgery was a need for me and I wanted to do a shoot to talk about the scars of top surgery and loving your body after. I don’t like to talk much about my personal feelings about my experience so I do it through my art. I wanted this photoshoot to bring beauty to the trans body. My girlfriend bought me flowers for my 2 years post op today and I wanted to use them in this shoot to represent personal growth in loving your scars. Your scars are beautiful but it’s okay to take time to love them yourself.
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Hate Can Kill Through the Screen
I wanted to do a photoshoot to bring attention to transphobia and homophobia online. As a way to raise awareness for the discrimination and hate that trans people face through social media I took only a few of the many hate comments iIve gotten and made them into art. I wanted this piece to create dialogue and show how vicious people can be towards the queer community over a screen.
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Queer Love Exists
Since it’s Valentine’s Day I thought I would do a shoot to bring awareness to trans and queer love. As a trans man, I never thought I would find someone who loves me as I am. It’s hard loving myself some days. So yeah, love is hard…especially as a queer person. It shouldn’t be. You should be allowed to be whoever you wanna be and love whoever you wanna love. You deserve to be loved without hiding the parts of you that you think are unlovable. Queer love exists. So let us have it.
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Gaining Male Privilege After Transitioning
In honor of International Women’s Day I wanted to do a shoot to bring awareness to this concept of male privilege. As a trans man, gaining male privilege after transitioning is extremely disturbing. I hate that I’m privileged now that I appear as a cis white man in today’s society. But I want to use that privilege to talk about issues like this. Femininity shouldn’t be seen as a weakness. Women are just capable as any man so society needs to start treating them like it. I want this post to bring awareness to this issue and hopefully it will help others recognize their privilege.
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Your Anti LGBTQ+ Bills Won't Erase Us
It’s 2023 and there are over 500 anti LGBTQ bills across 41 states being pushed in the United States. This is an attack on our lives and our right to exist. I printed as many anti-LGBTQ+ bills as I could that have been introduced just this year and taped them all over my backdrop. This photoshoot is dedicated to fighting back against all of the anti-trans bills being introduced in the United States. People need to see that our community exists and that we deserve to have the same rights as anyone else in this country.
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End Gun Violence
Content Warning: Nashville shooting (Guns, school shooting, etc.)
PSA: NO ACTUAL GUNS WERE USED IN THIS PHOTOSHOOT.
As many already know, there was yet another school shooting in Nashville, TN this past week. I wanted to create something that would reach people with privilege and create a dialogue that is much needed in this country right now considering there have now been 129 mass shootings so far in 2023. So let’s talk about it…
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Clothing Has No Gender
I wanted to emphasize the fact that clothing should not be gendered so I though I would try on my old prom dress again and do a photoshoot. I wanted to talk about this issue that society seems to have with men wearing dresses and women wearing suits. You should be allowed to wear whatever you want, whenever you want, without someone harassing you about why you shouldn’t be wearing it simply because of your gender. Let people wear whatever the f*ck they want. It’s their life, and their body, so why are you so concerned about what they choose to wear? If it makes them happy, mind your business.
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Let Trans Kids Grow
With all of the hate the trans community has been facing recently I wanted to create something beautiful to give trans kids hope for their future. Butterflies are a symbol of transformation, hope and growth. I want this shoot to be a reminder for trans youth to keep fighting. There are bills across the country taking away gender affirming care for trans youth, taking trans youth away from the families, forcing them into bathrooms they don’t belong in, excluding them from sports, the list goes on. In order to fight for our rights as a community we have to fight for our trans kids too. They deserve healthcare, they deserve to be valued, they deserve to be loved, they deserve to live their lives as who they are….Trans kids deserve to grow into trans adults.
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Barbie
With the recent release of the movie Barbie, I had to do a self portrait shoot in honor of the cinematic masterpiece. There were a lot of themes addressed that I thought were important and needed to be brought to attention. Barbie went against typical gender norms, promoted women empowerment and included the diverse representation that is necessary in films in order to challenge the outdated patriarchy. There was a lot of backlash from conservatives, attacking multiple themes portrayed in the movie. They think the movie is too “woke”, that it promotes the “trans agenda” and is “anti-male”. In more simpler terms, they’re upset that there was a trans actress playing a Barbie, that the film encouraged individuality and empowerment for women, and dove into the issues that are deeply rooted in patriarchy. That’s why for this shoot I had my girlfriend do my makeup, paint my nails, and write all over my body.
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Trans People Are Not Your Pawns
I did this shoot after the World Chess Federation banned trans women from competing in women’s events… They need “further analysis” to determine the advantage trans women have over cis women. There is no physical advantage in chess unless you believe men are naturally more capable of a strategy game than women. Women in chess are constantly being told that men are superior to them or that they have a smaller brain than men. This ban is ultimately saying that men are biologically smarter than women. It’s outright sexist and offensive to all women. The constant bans against trans lives and our right to exist in this country only continues to increase. It’s clear by now that this isn’t about fairness or inclusion, it’s about the exclusion of trans people in every aspect of our society. Using us as pawns in the game of politics.
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Trans People Deserve Safety in the Restroom
I shot this self portrait after Nex Benedict, a 16 year old trans student was killed by violence in a school bathroom in Oklahoma. A school bathroom. A place kids are supposed to feel protected and safe. Nex was beaten in the girls bathroom by a bunch of older high school girls. After he was beaten he was sent to the office and the school contacted his grandmother who then took him to the hospital. The school didn’t call the police. Instead they suspended Nex for two weeks. He died at the hospital after two days. What happened to the girls who did it? No idea. There was no report made. This happened in a school bathroom. Where anti-trans laws mandate those assigned female at birth to go. So they say they’re protecting kids with these laws, but what happened? A trans kid died. Nex Benedict should be alive. Nex was killed by transphobia in a place they should feel the safest. These laws, the government, this world, is failing our trans kids and it breaks my heart.
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Transgender Day of Remembrance
Every year for TDOR I’ve created art to raise awareness for the discrimination and hate that the trans community faces. This year I wanted to focus on each and every LIFE that was lost. This day is dedicated to honoring the lives lost due to anti-trans violence. Written on my body is every innocent life that’s been killed in 2023 due to the transphobia and hate that still exists in the world. A total of 320 trans people were killed according to the annual update of the Trans Murder Monitoring research project. While that number is disturbingly high… it’s likely even higher considering those are only the reported cases between October 1st, 2022 and September 30th, 2023. Most cases worldwide go unreported and those that are reported… receive barely any attention. Trans people aren’t killed because we “made the wrong choices in life.” We’re killed because the government makes the choice to put us at risk. I wanted to force people to see the reality of the world and how trans people are treated. I wanted to remind every single person of the beautiful lives that were taken too soon because of the disgusting hate in this world. I lit and held a candle in honor of each and every life that was tragically taken this year. They deserve to be remembered and the trans community deserves better.
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Your Vote Matters
With the upcoming election playing such a pivotal role in determining so many peoples’ futures and safety in this country, including my own… I felt it was only right that I advocate for myself through my photography. I took the time to vote early yesterday and decided to do a self portrait photoshoot afterwards. I proudly voted for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz for the 2024 Presidential Election yesterday. I truly believe they are the only hope any of us have to feel free again in this country. They are the only ones fighting to protect a woman’s right to her body, LGBTQ+ rights, IVF, the quality of public education, the opportunity to become a first time homeowner, the list goes on. So yes, your vote matters. Don’t be silent. Your vote is your voice and it can help not only change, but save lives.
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There is No Agree to Disagree
This is your reminder that you ARE allowed to end friendships and relationships over this election. Instead of wasting my breath on a conversation with someone who will never understand my emotions or feelings about this I wanted to use it as an opportunity to create for my community. If you have someone in your life that voted against your rights, you are completely entitled to whatever emotions you feel towards them. Do not let them gaslight you into thinking you’re the problem. I hope that maybe if you couldn’t find the words yourself, my art could help find them for you.
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Land of the Free?
I shot these self portraits a few days following the election results. As a trans artist, I’ve never felt more passion to create than right now. So I recently asked my community how they felt after finding out the results of the election. I received responses that not only gave me chills, but some that made me cry. I covered myself in blue handprints to represent everyone who voted for humanity and used red for the words to represent the hate this country chose instead. Thank you to everyone who shared their words with me. I hope this can help give you all a voice through my art. Our voices are stronger together and I only hope that my art will not only help raise them, but be a start to the change this country so desperately needs.
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National Suicide Prevention
(TW: Suicide) September is National Suicide Prevention Month so I wanted to raise awareness the one way I know how… through photography.
Teal and purple are the colors of the suicide awareness ribbon and the rope I wanted to resemble the struggle to escape negative thoughts, the feeling of being trapped thinking there’s only one way out…
988 is the 24/7 Suicide and Crisis lifeline. I hope to bring awareness onto this topic by creating something beautiful to represent it. I incorporated flowers growing onto the rope as a way to represent that potential for life. No matter how bad it might get, I promise you still have so much life to live. I didn’t just create this art for myself, I created it for every other person who struggles.
CAPTURING THE TRANS EXPERIENCE
Ongoing
As a way to bring more light onto my community I wanted to start a project that highlights the trans experience. I, as a trans man, have documented my journey through my self portraits so I wanted to dedicate a project to doing the same for other trans folk. This project is meant to highlight the diversity of the trans journey. Trans does not look a certain way; everyone’s journey is different. I want to capture the beauty, the self-love, and the joy, while also being able to capture the dysphoria, the hardships, and the pain. There was always little to no accurate representation of trans individuals in the media so I decided I want this project to be that representation that so many younger trans kids need. I’ve been spending the past year learning about several different trans experiences from people all over the world and capture their journey using my art.
The Hardships
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Oliver
Self - Reflection
Oliver mentioned to me one of his biggest struggles is grasping that he looks masculine enough. Specifically struggling with looking "good" and being "man" enough. I want to use a mirror and really emphasize these feelings within his reflection. Dressing up is hard as a trans man and even simply getting ready and finding an outfit is triggering. A professional suit tends to be a common symbol for masculinity so I hope to show you that despite all the toxic masculinity and beauty standards that there are for men, it's okay for Oliver to be the man he was meant to be.
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Clare
Trapped
Clare told me she wanted this to be very simple, focused on herself and her body. I wanted to be able to capture the hardships and the pain of her journey. She came out and started her transition a little later in life so she’s had a very different experience than most people when it comes to being trans. She was trapped for 55 years of her life. I want this part of the shoot to focus on that part of her life and the pain of hiding herself for so long. We used a sheet in a few shots with you in a fetal position to really capture this confinement she felt being stuck in a body that wasn't hers. I wanted this shoot to help her reflect on all that she’s overcome and even help others relate to this never ending feeling of being trapped.
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Dreyton
Unmasked
I wanted to create something that would capture this feeling of disconnection Dreyton has felt his whole life. He’s known he was in the wrong body since he was 5 years old. He’s dealt with being deaf, having OCD, D.I.D., bullying at school and faced lots of abuse. I used multiple masks as a way to represent dissociative identity disorder and the existence of his alters that he’s carried with him since early childhood. He explained that he would sometimes “blackout” and completely dissociate from unsafe or uncomfortable situations so his other alters would react to the reality that he was going through. The suitcase symbolized these past experiences that he’s carried with him into his present life living as a trans man. I wanted to help him turn all the pain he’s experienced into an art form.
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Ander
Traumatic Ties
Anya mentioned being a gymnast and it being their escape from their home life until experiencing a career ending injury that almost paralyzed them. I started by using rope as a way to symbolize this feeling they seemed to have of being trapped after that. They confided to me that their dad abused them not only mentally, but physically too. Ropes can very often represent bonds that tie families together. With their experience, I want the rope to also represent this toxic bond that he had with them. No matter how much they tried to reach out and ask for help they were rejected or told to keep their mouth shut. Bandaids often symbolize protection and a way to fix things, and instead of protecting you, the people around them didn’t believe them. Even in regards to their sexuality, instead of being accepted, they had to hide their truth. I used candles burning with a rosary cross as a way to represent this slow burning relationship between them and the church. Their dad forced his belief onto them growing up so I wanted this to symbolize the death of all those beliefs that were forced onto them growing up.
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Beckett
In the Dark
Beckett mentioned wanting to have a mental health theme behind this shoot so I want to use my creativity to capture the anger issues/bpd and adhd that he talked to me about with these shots. I used a cloth over his face to symbolize being in the dark with who he was, he described the feeling of being, "alone in a crowd” which is what I wanted to capture for him. These shots are more about capturing his struggles with his trans journey.
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Emma
A Shaky Step
This shoot with Emma focused on capturing the struggles of her journey. I chose a staircase as a way to represent this. We wrote the goals she’s been trying so hard to achieve throughout her experience on each step. She’s endured a lot of discrimination and pain such as forced relocation, being abused, homelessness. She was sort of stuck trying to get to each step for 8 1/2 years. She wanted to capture the financial struggles that come with transitioning as well as what it’s like to be trans with hyperaggression, ADHD, and seizures. I wanted the art we created to help look at her journey in a new light, and be proud of how far she’s gotten.
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Noah
Inner Growth
This shoot was focused on capturing Noah’s hardships with his journey. He wanted to capture the hip dysphoria he experiences as well as the bottom dysphoria he experiences. This is something not many trans individuals talk about so we wanted to raise awareness for this sort of dysphoria to allow people to feel less alone in their own experiences.
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Jay
A New Perception
Jay told me that being non-binary is difficult because of other people. They mentioned that they work at a school and there used to be this sticky note trend in bathrooms that I wanted to recreate for their concept. I had them write a few statements/questions that other people have said to them in regards to how people perceive Jay on sticky notes. We covered the bathroom mirror in them because the mirror is your own reflection of yourself. Society seems to have this view where they only want to see male or female. I want this to show society's affect on someone's life simply by forcing them into these gender boxes. I also used a "hello my pronouns are" tag with "they them" written on it as a reminder to society to use the correct pronouns. I covered their mouth with it to symbolize their voice being a big factor in how people perceive them. I wanted to capture their pain of constantly being misgendered, especially as a school counselor, and being perceived as someone they’re not.
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Hayden
Dysphoric Triggers
With this shoot with Hayden, we wanted to capture the hardships that come with being on this journey. Nobody really talks enough about how hard it is to be trans in today’s society. From misgendering, to being discriminated, to the dysphoria, there are so many things that try and stop trans people from living as who THEY really are. This was ultimately all about capturing the inside look at the mental hardships we experience as trans men in today’s society.
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Sol
A Silent Loss
With this shoot I wanted to capture the hardships and the pain of Sol’s journey. He said one of the hardest things has been feeling alone, like his old self died. Chrysanthemums are often symbols for death so I wanted to use those as a symbol for saying goodbye to his old self. I took some shots of the flowers over his mouth to symbolize the voice that he hates so much. The plastic, I wanted to act as a mask for who he used to be. Almost like he’s being suffocated by these feelings of his old self (voice, chest, reflection). He also mentioned being confused about which parts of him are him, so I wanted this shoot to help give him those answers though art.
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Landon
Lost Love
This shoot was focused on capturing the hardships of Landon’s journey. Specifically, dating as a trans man. I wanted to portray those heartbreaking emotions and feelings that he’s experienced through art. It’s especially hard dating in general nevermind dating as a trans man in today’s society. It’s hard being vulnerable with someone only to be rejected because of your body. It makes accepting ourselves and our body even harder. I included quotes that have been said to Landon throughout his own experience. I hope if you see this and can relate to it, it might make you feel less alone in your own experience. Trans people deserve love too.
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Elliot
A New Beginning
Elliot booked with me to capture the beginning of his journey. He had just recently started T and came out so I wanted this part of the shoot to capture the difficulty coming to terms with that. This shoot captured the hardships of coming out, coming to terms with you who are, shot anxiety, etc. I wanted to give him something that could document all the firsts of his journey.
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Trip
Shot Anxiety
Trip wanted a photoshoot to capture the hardships that come with taking testosterone on a weekly basis. Shooting yourself every week just to be yourself is something not too many people experience so we wanted to somehow raise awareness about the anxiety that comes with it. These photos are meant to capture the severe shot anxiety many trans individuals face when injecting hormones every week.
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Jakob
Six Years on T
This shoot for Jakob was for his 6 years on T anniversary. Although being on testosterone for 6 years comes with a lot of trans joy, it also comes with a lot of hardships as well that people don’t talk about. This shoot was all about capturing his difficult relationship with testosterone as well as himself after 6 years.
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Kaci
Internal Darkness
Kaci described being trans as painful sometimes and wanted to capture the struggles of being a trans man even after passing. I wanted to relate this to the feeling of being seen as a man but still having that darkness inside of you telling you you’re not. I used a black sheer fabric and covered him in it as a way to symbolize this suffocating feeling of dysphoria that always stays with us. Society and his family haven’t made it easy for him living as a trans man, especially living in Florida. The black I wanted to symbolize the sadness and anger that he’s had to experience. He described being treated like a burden by his father and other people in his life so I wanted this to turn all of those feelings into art.
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Lucas
Broken Home
Lucas was 11/12 when he realized he might be trans. After being forced to hide for so long he finally came out but was immediately faced with rejection and hate from his family. I used a mattress to represent this feeling of isolation between him and his family. It symbolized where he felt most alone and unwanted; at home. Lucas also said that he ended up moving out and sleeping on a bean bag in his friend's closet so I wanted to capture the feelings associated with that experience for him. I added a lampshade to symbolize how his family treated him. The lampshade’s job is to protect the eye from the bulb’s glare. Essentially keeping the bulb’s brightness low… and only being able to light up a small space. His family wanted him to hide who he was and “dim his light” because of society and other people’s opinions of trans people. They kept him from being able to express his true self outside of his own room, sort of like how a lampshade keeps a bulb’s brightness from lighting up a larger space…always dimming it.
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Elias
Abandoned Cage
Elias mentioned to me that he loves abandoned buildings and bird imagery so we ended up doing this shoot at an abandoned castle. This was a really good way to represent the homelessness he’s had to endure as well. The birdcage resembles this feeling of being "trapped" that he mentioned to me. Trapped in his body, trapped by his family, etc. He told me his family was not supportive and he ended up going through his transition alone. I want the abandoned castle to reflect the abandonment he might've felt when having to file legal protections against them. The bird cage also tends to symbolize confinement, so I wanted that to represent a lot of the feelings he’s had towards his family prior to being able to separate yourself from them.
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Chris
Restricted
Chris mentioned that he had to bind for over 12 years. I really wanted to encompass the pain and despair of having to wait so long to be able to get top surgery. He brought his old beaten up binder that he used for years and I had him write down words and phrases that binding has made him feel. I wanted to showcase the affect that binding could have on someone, especially having to bind for so long. Binding is a really important concept that our community needs to see to feel less alone. I wanted these photos to help remind him of how far he’s come in his journey.
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Kris
Silent Struggles
Kris mentioned one of the hardest things about his transition was coming out and starting testosterone. I want capture this feeling of loneliness at the beginning of his journey that he mentioned. He spoke about bottom dysphoria, shot anxiety and hip dysphoria so we took shots capturing the feelings associated with that for him. I wanted the photos to help him realize how far he’s come since beginning his transition and allow him to feel proud of everything he was able to accomplish all on his own.
The Trans Joy
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Noah
Upward Growth
Noah mentioned to me wanting to represent getting bottom surgery soon and representing spirituality and identity somehow. So with this shoot I used a ladder to symbolize progress and spiritual passage. It's also a good symbol for helping people which relates to the fact that he wants to be a gender and sexuality therapist. I wanted to not only capture his desire to help himself by taking the next step up (bottom surgery) and getting closer to his identity and spirituality, but also his desire to help other people with their own journeys by becoming a therapist. I added flowers as a symbol for growth in all aspects.
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Clare
Strength through Vulnerability
Clare was amazing enough to book with me after talking with me on her podcast (Episode 13) and I’m so honored to have been able to work with her to capture her story. She wanted something simple that would represent her growth in her trans body. I used white hydrangeas to symbolize purity, grace and beauty. I wanted to use the flowers to cover the parts of her that she’s always been insecure about. The sheet I used as a symbol for the suffocation and confinement she felt for so long living in a body that didn’t feel like her own. She was trapped for 55 years of her life so I wanted this photoshoot to represent her freedom and her strength in finally being able to be authentically herself.
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Anya
Refreshing Renewal
I wanted to do Anya’s in the water because it symbolizes cleansing and kind of a rebirth for yourself. They confided in me about attempting suicide multiple times so I really wanted to highlight this idea of a refreshing restart on your life for them. They said that they’re "slowly trying to learn how to breathe without fear and love yourself and your life" so I want this to actually capture that new breath of fresh air for them. I covered them in a purple fabric sheet to symbolize suicide awareness and act as a shield for their identity. Almost like they’re trapped in this place of not being able to accept who they are while also being on this journey of feeling very free becoming more and more themself. I also surrounded them in flowers and their poems. The flowers were symbols for healing and helping people because they mentioned wanting to be a therapist. I hoped by literally using their words it would help tell their story so I surrounded them with prints of all of their poems in the water.
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Landon
Embracing the Crown
Landon told me that some of the proudest moments in his transition have to do with the commitment he has to being authentically himself. Despite everything he’s been through he’s still managed to come out winning. I included a crown as a prop in this part of the shoot to symbolize his achievements in his journey. He’s become a leader in the trans community by being a life and transitions coach and LGBTQ+ activist. Landon also briefly mentioned an eating-disorder past. I wanted to symbolize this new growth and relationship that he now has with his body and what he puts into it by using flowers taped around his body as well as in empty to go food containers. There's no growth without discomfort. Ultimately, this shoot is all about him embracing his new crown and this trans joy he has for his experience.
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Emma
Elevated Growth
I wanted this shoot to capture Emma’s trans joy. Her journey started in New Haven so I made sure to include the beautiful rooftop views of the city. I wanted the ladder to symbolize her journey here. She’s been able to overcome a lot of pain and suffering from her past life by taking these steps to become who she is. She found a home with the trans community here which I wanted to represent with the trans flag on the ladder. She’s grown to love herself so I wanted these photos to capture that pride and joy that comes with finding who you are. Although there’s more steps to take on her journey, this is a reminder to her of what she’s already accomplished.
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Chris
Golden Bliss
This shoot is all about Chris’s trans joy. He just got top surgery recently which I know is a huge moment for him so I wanted to capture the complete and utter joy of finally feeling free in his new chest. He said he enjoys creative arts and loves being able to have artistic expression so I want to show that with this shoot by using glitter. Glitter is one of the symbols of LGBTQ+ empowerment due to its ties to queer nightlife and performative art so I included a pop of shiny, gold to his new chest around his scars and on his face. I wanted to really showcase this new shine to his life. I hoped to encompass this power in his trans body by using gold since it is very often the symbol for success. Top surgery is something he never thought he would be able to attain and I wanted this shoot to really capture this winning moment for him.
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Hayden
Double Reflection
I wanted to capture the progress of Hayden’s journey since being 3 years on Testosterone. I used a mirror in the water for this concept to symbolize his reflection. I had the mirror block him in some of the shots to represent this idea of "hiding his reflection of his past self" . Then on the other side I took ones of him looking into the mirror in the water to symbolize his pride in his reflection now.
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Chris
A Growing Space
Reading Chris’s backstory I really connected with this concept of creating a space for themselves that allowed them to explore who they are. Chris said that their transition gave them this room to simply live and slow down and look around. Gardens symbolize a place for growth and allow for a space to start life. I wanted to create a space behind them in the garden where I can capture this new life they’ve created for themselves since transitioning. Each taped flower against the backdrop represented each change they’ve made since transitioning. I want these to be all the "course corrections" as they described it. So, one can be the changes with their career, leaving home and starting a new life with their partner, starting testosterone, another for top surgery, and so on. They’ve finally found a space to be themselves. I want to essentially recreate that with this photoshoot and capture this new space Chris has made to grow and become who they are now.
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Elliot
Pieces of Me
This shoot for Elliot focused on capturing his happiness and trans joy. At the end of the day, he’s a happier person and that's what a lot of people forget. I want people to see the joy in what it's like coming out and becoming who you truly are. I want to showcase the best part of this journey of him being free in one of the most peaceful places I can think of, nature. He also mentioned that he loves writing so I used pieces of paper into some shots that had words that he felt were important to him and his personal journey.
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Jay
New Liberation
Jay told me that one of their greatest accomplishments in their journey has been getting top surgery. That going to the beach shirtless was the most liberating experience of their life. Jay mentioned finally being able to wear button ups being extremely euphoric. I wanted to essentially recreate this moment of peace for them by doing the shoot in the water wearing a simple white button up with red and yellow flowers surrounding them. The flowers I want to represent their future growth with hormones since they said that's the next step. Yellow ones to symbolize caution and the concern that they have with some changes (health concerns, medications) and red to symbolize the excitement and love they have for some of them (voice, facial hair, muscle growth). I essentially want this shoot to really capture this growth Jay already had as well as this new growth to expect in their journey.
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Sol
A New Boyhood
Sol said in his message about trans joy that being somewhere just as himself was really freeing.This is just the start of his journey so I wanted this shoot to let him get to know the real him and experience the boy childhood and teen years that he missed out on. Essentially capturing the boyhood he never had. We went to the playground to do this since it can symbolize childhood and a place to be free and explore yourself and the world around you. I wanted these photos to represent this new boyhood of his that he gets to experience.
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Elias
Taking Flight
Elias told me that he writes poetry and that he loves art so I wanted to try and come up with a concept that showcased his creative and artistic side. I used a projector in my studio to display the title of his poetry book, “trans [re] incarnation” over him as a way to turn his words into art. He also mentioned bird imagery being important to him and birds are often symbols for freedom, hope, and new beginnings. I projected birds and wings on the backdrop as well to symbolize his freedom from his parents after filing legal protections against them, his freedom from his body after getting top surgery, and ultimately it can symbolize this new beginning as the person he was always meant to be.
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Vic
New Beginnings
Vic booked a shoot with me to celebrate his one year since starting testosterone. He wanted to represent the struggles/excitement that this past year has brought him. We did the shoot at a castle to symbolize all the hard work he’s put in to rebuilding himself after years of trauma. He created a new life for himself since coming out and starting T. Empty photo frames are often symbols for a new beginning so we added flowers around the frame to document his growth and capture these new moments of euphoria for him. We did this shoot exactly a year after his first coming out shoot with me. so we wanted to capture his growth since the last one.
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Beckett
A New Spotlight
This shoot was all about capturing Beckett’s trans joy and new found confidence in his journey. My idea was to create a spotlight effect on him to showcase his euphoria with who he os now and who he’s becoming. He mentioned to me that he’s the only trans person in his circle/family and that it’s hard for him to feel confident because of that so I wanted these photos to do that for him.
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Mac
Trans Warrior
Mac told me he wanted to do a type of trans warrior shoot. He told me he wanted to caprure his greek heritage as well so I wanted this shoot to incorporate almost a "greek god" look in a couple shots by using a crown in the photos. I want this to represent how proud he is of his journey. I also wanted to add the trans flag as well as blue white and pink paint to enhance his trans pride and joy.
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Aleksander
Recovery
Aleksander recently got top surgery before this shoot so I wanted to do some recovery photos for him. I incorporated small white flowers with bandaids to symbolize his recovery from surgery. The whole idea for this shoot is to showcase what he’s had to go through having to get surgery while also documenting the trans joy he’s experiencing with his new chest.
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Quinn
Celebrate Joy
Quinn’s partner Britney surprised them by booking a shoot with me to celebrate their trans joy. I wanted to create pieces that really showcase the beauty in being yourself. I wanted to capture the pride Quinn had in seeing themselves outside shirtless in nature. I know with a lot of trans individuals, we have a very tough relationship with how we see ourselves in mirrors. I used a mirror to resemble Quinn reclaiming a new sense of joy by seeing themselves in a mirror today.
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Casey
A New Reflection
Casey mentioned to me that he wanted this to be sort of a celebration for finally being able to recognize himself in the mirror. I planned on portraying the growth in finding your reflection by using a broken mirror to represent his hardships, unable to see the true version of himself (seeing a broken one) prior to transitioning. I'll also have a bunch of normal mirrors surrounding him to capture the version of himself that he is proud of, with a clear reflection. This shoot was simply to showcase his confidence with who he is now by capturing the reflection of his own trans joy.
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Oliver
Beauty in Blooming
This shoot is all about Oliver’s trans joy. The growth that he’s had since coming out and starting his journey. He said that he’s finally starting to see the man he is on the inside, on the outside. He’s blooming. I wanted this to be the essence behind this concept. The long stems on the flowers I want to represent this journey that he’s been on and the blooming flowers to represent his achievements in this journey. So hitting 6 months on T, facial hair growth, voice dropping, working out, etc. He is finally thriving in his identity. He’s had struggles with embracing his masculine side so I'm hoping to reject this toxic masculinity with the use of pink flowers around him. Pink is often perceived as very feminine, but I want these to showcase that no matter where he’s come from or what he’s gone through on his journey, at the end of the day he’s still standing here as a man, fighting for the trans community.
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Lucas
Fresh Start
Lucas said he moved out of his parents place in 2020, started his transition on his own and his family till this day hasn't been supportive. He gets the most euphoria from knowing the people who have hurt him and tried to break him down in the past won't be able to reach that old version of himself. All of the past experiences and trauma are being cleansed by this feeling of self confidence and euphoria in his new skin. The task of doing laundry and cleaning sheets can often be associated with this idea of "purification" or cleansing yourself from past experiences. I used pink, white, and blue sheets to symbolize his euphoria since transitioning. I wanted this to capture the process of him "changing the sheets" and moving away from the things and people that hurt him the most. I wanted to create this "clean space" for me to capture his overall growth. We wrote “TransitioningSavesLives” on his arm to capture his passion for human rights activism and the fact that he wants to be a tattoo artist one day!
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Elliot
Refreshed
I wanted this shoot to really encompass Elliot’s growth over the past year. He’s turning into the man he’s always known himself to be. He said all of the pain that he’s been through has led him to a lot of discoveries about himself. He learned who to let in his life and he’s found the support that he needed after a long journey of pain and loss to find it. He’s LOVINN himself this year so I really wanna show that. After watching him for the past year since our first shoot he’s regained such strength and confidence in himself and his journey. I wanted to capture this confidence with a concept of him in the water. Water is used as a symbol for power and essentially he’s in the stage of your life where he’s becoming himself. Free and refreshed in his own journey. I also included newspapers floating around him in reference to his recovering from his past. (See Burning Bridges )
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Kris
Taking Aim
Kris mentioned to me that he found himself through archery and that it's where he goes to let out all his feelings. We used arrows and a bow for symbolism in his journey. I wanted to use an old photograph of him pre-transition and pin it on a tree. Since an arrow can only go forward when it's shot it's often a symbol for moving forward from something either mentally or physically. So for Kris, this is moving forward from his past self. He said he’s gone through a lot of his journey alone. Arrows represent achievements of peace and calm. I essentially used each arrow as a symbol for each step in his journey that he’s achieved that's gotten him to where he is today. Despite everything he’s been through I wanted this to represent his ability to "create his own path" even if it felt like he was just taking shots in the dark his whole life.
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Dreyton
Framed Growth
I wanted to give Dre something to look at and remind himself of who he is. Picture frames are reminders of moments and memories in your life so I used an actual picture frame to help remind him of the man that he is. He’s also a photographer so I I thought that would be another good connection for the use of the frame. He used a rose and it's thorns to talk about testosterone and the changes he’s experienced. I then used an actual rose as a symbol for growth and love in his shoot. I wanted it to ultimately represent this journey of self-love that he’s on. I wanted to bring out the confidence in him and capture those feelings of euphoria that will remind him to be proud of his trans identity.
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Jakob
Self-Made
Jakob asked me to do a shoot with him to celebrate his 5 years post top surgery. We did it outside in the snow which made it more special because it actually snowed the day after top surgery. I took shots of him building a snowman to highlight his self-made journey and the fact that he was able to create and literally build a body that’s true to who he is. We added blue and pink smoke powder as a way to celebrate this milestone for him. I let him have fun in the snow and captured shots of him celebrating trans joy.
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Sol
Reconnection
Sol booked a shoot with me exactly a year after our last shoot. We set up at Beavertail State Park, a place special to him and set up overlooking the cliffs. He told me that he’s been feeling disconnected recently and wanted to reconnect through art. I brought an old phone to symbolize that disconnection and a glass frame with water droplets to represent this dissociation and loneliness from life. We added lilies to represent this rebirth and new life that he’s been living since starting testosterone. I wanted to give him an opportunity to really see himself and his growth since last year. Everyone grows at different paces. This was a reminder to him to celebrate how far he’s come even if it might feel like he’s stuck sitting in one place.
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Bobbie
Cloud of Joy
I did a shoot with Bobbie to celebrate them getting top surgery. I wanted to create something that would be a celebration of them. We chose an abandoned building for the location as a way to symbolize this feeling of peace in an empty space. The top surgery process was hard for them. They had to change surgeons, lost a deposit and got their date pushed back. They told me it’s put a cloud on the whole experience for them. I wanted to put a positive spin on this and use color powder/smoke to create a cloud of joy around them and their new scars. We use yellow and purple to raise awareness for getting gender affirming surgery as someone who is non-binary. Yellow clouds represent accomplishment while purple clouds represent embracing positive energy. They’re also a rock climber so we covered their body in the powder to symbolize the climbing chalk they use. I wanted to capture the overall trans joy they’ve worked so hard to finally experience.
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Xander
Blooming Faith
Xander booked session with me wanting o capture his experience with his Christianity as a trans man. He learned he could be in a Christian community that does not judge or care how you identify. We displayed a blue cross above him to symbolize this acceptance. I created a flower bed below him as a way to resemble this new community he’s found within the church. We used red/white flowers to honor his journey of self love and a pink rose with a candle to honor his mom. I used mylar to give off this reflection of light on water to symbolize his recent baptism and return to church. We then poured water over him to highlight that experience for him.
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Hayden
“I’ve been on this journey for 3 years now, although I’m still growing and learning to love myself, I’ve never been more proud of myself. I talk a lot about how good it feels to be able to be my true self, but the hardships that come with that need to be addressed too. Not many people realize how hard it is to be trans in todays society. I’ve been kicked out of clubs for using the men’s restroom, been forced out of a job due to transphobic management, and forced to make a decision of whether I wanted to be myself or hide who iI was to be able stay in the Air Force, leaving something behind that iI worked hard for. Sam did such an amazing job at capturing the inside look at the mental hardships we have as trans men.”
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Clare
“The session was everything Sam promised. I felt utterly comfortable. All insecurity was checked at the door. As much as I'd like to comment on the end result, I'll let Sam's art speak for itself. I am in awe of our collaboration. Sam captured all the things: vulnerability, strength, beauty, peace, queerness, joy, struggle - my soul. He delivered on his promise to make me art, and made me feel good about myself in the process. I'm proud to be part of his effort to capture the trans experience.”
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Noah
“When it comes to the concept of this shoot, coming up with ideas initially was a struggle. Of course the pieces of yourself that you are dysphoric about are the parts that you don’t want people to see. After getting top surgery all of the chest dysphoria that I experienced immediately went towards my hips. I feel like hip dysphoria in itself isn’t talked about enough, regardless of the countless trans individuals I have come across that also experience it. Along with that I wanted to also show the growth that I have experienced throughout my 6 years of transitioning, both medically and socially. Considering I am also wanting to be a gender and sexuality therapist, I loved the idea of capturing the experience through photography so I just HAD to be a part of it and I’m so happy that I got to be.”
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Oliver
“Working with Sam was such an amazing experience, being able to be vulnerable in a safe space is something so crucial in todays climate. I’ve known I was trans since I was young but didn’t come out until I was a teen, I grew up in a small rural town where toxic masculinity was the most prominent example of what manhood was. I constantly heard the phrase “man up”. Sam was able to capture the experience of trying to navigate manhood as a young trans person and my journey of the realization that simply being me is man enough, and that my masculinity doesn’t have to come from a place of anger, rather it can come from a softer place of kindness. I love these photos and now I have a tangible time stamp of this section of my journey. “
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Jay
“I’ve done different photo shoots for various events in my life and they’re painful to look at it. Mostly because I look so miserable even if I am smiling. I know that there wasn’t joy in them. But working with Sam? That was life changing. I’m finally able to look at pictures of myself and find the joy with ease. Sam was amazing coming up with a concept that perfectly captures my experience of being trans non-binary. The hardships and the successes that I’ve been able to make becoming myself. These are pictures that I will treasure as I continue finding more of the joy in being trans.”
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Elliot
“This is the most vulnerable thing I’ve ever done in my life. I never would’ve done this five years ago. I wouldn’t have even done it last year, I was still so uncertain about myself. I love everything these pictures show and the beauty that they represent. Sam did a tremendous job at mixing the hardships of being trans with the raw beauty and overall freeness that comes along with it.”
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Beckett
“I’ve been on my transition journey for about 5 years . This past year I’ve had top surgery and I’m finally able to see myself as i’m supposed to. Struggling with mental illness such as BPD and ADHD plus the anxiety/depression that comes with it all, made loving myself so much harder . After this past year, I’m getting a lot more confident in myself and also loving myself . Sam really helped capture the message that I’ve tried for years to explain. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time and working with people who get it . works . I’m so grateful to work with Sam and have him help me tell my story and struggle to those who might relate to me .”
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Jakob
“During this shoot with Sam I was celebrating my six year T anniversary, which is such a wild concept to me. Every day I remind myself that it is so important to be open and vulnerable, cause I know as a trans man I keep a wall very high up. This shoot allowed me to open up about parts of myself that I didn’t know existed. Thank you Sam for making me feel like a beefy, macho, proud to be trans, man. Hahahah. Your ability to capture trans beauty will forever be admired. “
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Sol
“I’m in my first year of transition, and it has been one of the most beautiful and brutal times of my life. I’ve always felt unheard, invisible, and straight uncomfortable. Sam was able to capture the true me. Through the art he created, I was able to grieve a piece of myself while also showing me that I can experience joy in my life, in myself. Words can’t express how amazing my experience was and how special Sam will always be to me.”
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Trip
“The concept of these pictures that Sam took of me were to capture the extreme anxiety that I go through on shot day. HRT saved my life, and has saved many others. I encourage you to ALWAYS live your truth and always support your friends and family, because at the end of the day support means more than you know. Sam, I can’t thank you enough for this incredible experience. This shoot means the world to me.”
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Chris
“It took me a long time to give myself permission to just be myself because I spent so much of my life seeking validation from others. When I stopped living my life for others and started living it for myself, I saw who I really am. I wanted to capture the resilience, strength, creativity, and joy that this journey has required of me and Sam did exactly that. When I was on location, I felt so incredibly seen. Sam took my initial story and ran with it to create a beautiful and deeply meaningful experience from being in the garden, to having the backdrop, down to the flowers he chose. He was incredibly kind and thoughtful, showing me what he hoped to capture in each pose while also letting me make it my own. There is so much fluidity in the trans experience and Sam honored that in the capturing and creating of these photos with a passion that empowers one to see uncertainty and recognize possibility.”
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Emma
“I am beyond words for how euphoric this whole experience was, not to mention getting to see the trans joy portion of the shoot. I admit the hardships portion were hard to look at considering the memories of my past they envoke. That said, this brings me so much validation regarding my struggles. These are some amazing photos, and have helped me towards greater self-acceptance. I thank him a thousand times, from the bottom of my heart!!!”
RECREATION OF MY CHILDHOOD
In Progress
Growing up trans is difficult. I didn’t even know I was trans until I came out in 2020 when I was 21 years old. Looking back on my childhood is hard for me. I always think about the childhood that I could’ve had if I realized sooner, or the childhood I could’ve had if I was born in the right body. I missed out on a lot of experiences that I could’ve had in my correct identity. This is something that people don’t talk about too often because for a lot of trans individuals, they may have figured it out sooner. And that’s okay, but for me…I lived 21 years of my life as someone I wasn’t. I don’t regret a thing, because all of my experiences have shaped me into the man I am today. But I do dwell on the fact that I’ll never be able to relive those experiences as who I am today and who I know I’ve always been.
So, I decided to take pictures from all ages throughout my childhood that I seemed the happiest in, and recreate them. For me, it’s almost creating a sense of peace for myself between who I was back then and who I am now. I was a happy kid, it’s not like I had a terrible childhood, I was raised by a good family and I still love them to this day. This project is more so about recreating those memories and being able to really see who I am in my younger self.
MAKING CINEMATIC ROMANCE QUEER
In Progress
I wanted to start a project focusing on queer representation in the media so as a way to highlight queer identities and queer love I decided to take cinematic love scenes from some of the most famous romantic movies and recreate them….but make them gay. LGBTQ people in the media are often misrepresented with certain stereotypes or no representation at all. I used to grow up watching films but I never saw depictions of love that I felt I could relate to because most of it was heteronormative. I want people to see this depiction of popular romance as queer love, whether it be lesbian, gay, trans, non-binary, etc. and be reminded that it’s okay to love whoever you want to love. Although things have changed and there’s been a lot more queer representation in the media, there’s still not the best depiction of true queer love. Personally, I think it’s a beautiful thing so I wanted to capture it in the same light as some of the most popular “heterosexual love” from cinematic masterpieces.
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When Harry Met Sally "Colorful Walk" Scene
Models: Shelby Waznia and Milah Ash
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The Notebook "Bike Scene"
Models: Cordi Burns and Sarah Minery
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Twilight "Dancing Scene"
Models: MJ Gotchu and Heather Garcia
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Brokeback Mountain "I Wish I Knew How To Quit You" Scene
Models: Quinn Carpenter and Brittney Laquidara
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The Notebook "Dance Scene"
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The Notebook "Rain Scene"
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Titanic "Boat Scene"
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Titanic "Ballroom Scene"
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Titanic "Sketch Scene"
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La La Land "Dance Scene"
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Say Anything "Radio Car Scene"
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Dirty Dancing "Dance Studio Scene"
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Ghost "Pottery Scene"
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Grease "Shake Shack Scene"
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Grease "Drive - In" Scene
PAPER BAG BOY
In Progress
This self-portrait photography project is a deeply personal journey where I revisit significant places from my childhood, wearing a brown paper bag over my head. Each image incorporates my childhood handwriting, capturing a sense of innocence lost. As a trans man, I never had the chance to experience boyhood. Although my girlhood shaped me into the person I am today, I can’t help but think about the boyhood I never got the chance to have.
This project is my way of reclaiming those lost moments and reimagining them with a paper bag covering who I used to be. The bag symbolizes the shame and fear that kept my true self hidden for so long while my handwriting represents that authenticity I was unable to express at the time. This series is my way of reconnecting with my past and redefining my childhood, creating new memories through my artistic lens.
I think it’s important to give trans kids hope for a future, especially in a country that’s trying so hard to make sure they don’t have one. As a trans artist, I strive to make art that they can relate to. My hope is that this project will help them feel seen, offering a sense of connection and maybe even allowing them to live through Paper Bag Boy until they are ready to embrace their true selves.
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Paper Bag Boy Goes To The Playground
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Paper Bag Boy Plays on the Swings
12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
In Progress
HUMAN
March 2024
I started this project for Transgender Day of Visibility as a way to spread awareness for my community today. As always, I wanted to create visibility for my community by using my photography and my art. I ended up having 19 other amazing trans models help me create it. People constantly search for all the wrong reasons to hate us before even attempting to get to know us as human beings. Our transness should not be what defines us. We’re a lot more than that. But the world tends to use that against us. I wanted this series to showcase the strength, resilience and diversity of our community and really give people an inside look into who we are as people beyond our trans identity. I asked everyone to give me a few words that best reflected their experiences being disrespected and discriminated against for being transgender in today’s society. We deserve to be treated with just as much respect as everyone else, so why is it that we are constantly perceived as something we’re not?
I hope this project can help bring that much needed visibility to my community because at the end of the day, we’re human too.
NFT’s
I created NFT’s (Non-Fungible Tokens) as a way to share my work and create a portfolio for myself. I hope that my art not only inspires others but I hope that it’s worth something one day too. Below are descriptions of my collections as well as a link to view them on the marketplace. (OpenSea, Foundation)
Please feel free to check them out below or share with others.
GENDER DYSPHORIA THROUGH THE LENS
Dec. 2020 - Dec. 2021
Gender dysphoria is something that only very few people can relate to. The easiest way to explain it is essentially feeling uncomfortable due to a mismatch with someone’s gender identity and sex assigned at birth. Growing up only to hate your body and who you are is one of the worst feelings anyone could possibly experience. I want those emotions I felt my whole life to be represented in this collection. I wanted to create images that not only capture my personal experience with dysphoria but ones that others can relate to. I want people to see my artwork and be able to really feel the emotion behind it.
I came out as trans when I was 21. I lived most of my life in a body I did not identify with. I am now living proudly as a 24 year old trans man and I’ve never been happier. Through my work, I aim to raise awareness for the trans community and the struggles we face everyday within ourselves.
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#1 Mind Over Body
When there's a mismatch between your mind and your body, it makes you hate everything about who you are and what you look like. You have to hold on to that feeling in your mind telling you that this isn't right. That the body you were born into is wrong. That you've lived your whole life as someone who isn't you.
This specific piece holds a lot of meaning to me. I used to bind with KT tape to make my chest appear smaller. It became unhealthy for me to bind as much as I did but it was the only way for me to feel less dysphoric. I felt trapped. Trapped in a body that wasn't mine. Everything about the emotions that this piece exhibits surrounds my experience in my body and the mental exhaustion it took for me to bind every single day.
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#2 Pre - Op
This specific shot holds a lot of meaning to me. I did this shoot a day before my top surgery. My chest dysphoria has probably been one of the hardest things to deal with. Looking down everyday when you wake up and being reminded that you are still stuck in a body that isn’t yours was excruciating.
Top surgery was the ultimate goal for me when I started my transition. I wanted to capture how my chest dysphoria made me feel. I wanted to finally capture these emotions the day before I never had to feel them again.
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#3 Not My Reflection
Have you ever looked in the mirror and immediately broke down because who you saw looking back at you didn't match who you felt you were on the inside? Realizing that I did not match my own reflection was something that was really difficult to come to terms with.
The emotions you see in this piece represent the hate I had towards my reflection. Ultimately, they show the hate I had towards myself. I hated my long hair, I hated my chest, I hated how feminine my face was. It wasn't until I started testosterone and got top surgery that I could finally look at myself in the mirror and truly see myself.
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#4 Recovery
Top Surgery is something a lot of trans masculine individuals get to become more comfortable in their body. It takes a toll on your body. Getting top surgery changed my life. I was finally able to happily look in the mirror and see a body that was my own.
However, the recovery is a long process. It feels like it lasts forever. I was restricted. I could barely move the week after. Although I was extremely happy with the results it was still something that was extremely hard to go through. This piece captures my post-op depression after top surgery.
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#5 Post - Op
Even after seeking medical treatment (hormones, surgery, etc.) gender dysphoria does not just go away. It comes in different ways, shapes and forms. In this specific shot, I captured my own emotions about my dysphoria post surgery.
I think for me I thought my dysphoria would just go away because most of it did come from my chest. But after top surgery, new types of dysphoria started forming for me. This piece represents the never-ending feeling dysphoria has consumed me with.
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#6 Shot Anxiety
I used to hate needles. I would dread getting a flu shot or any kind of shot for that matter. Come to find out, coming out as trans and starting my transition involved shooting myself with a needle every week for the rest of my life.
This piece captures the shot anxiety I experience every week. Although testosterone saved my life, I hate having to be the one to inject myself with it constantly. It's something a lot of other trans individuals experience. I think it's important to show the other struggles we have to face throughout our transition. Taking testosterone or estrogen being one of them.
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#7 Control
This specific piece I wanted to utilize the red light to really capture the anger that comes with experiencing discrimination. Although I present male there are times people have purposefully misgendered me or disrespected me due to being trans.
Since being on testosterone it’s been more difficult for me to control my emotions because I’m taking hormones. The red light in this shoot is meant to enhance my anger towards the transphobia I experience in my own life and give myself an opportunity to control the dysphoria it causes me, through my art.
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#8 Testosterone
I have a love-hate relationship with testosterone. I love it, because it’s ultimately saved my life. However, I hate the fact that I have to take it in the first place. I despise that I wasn’t born with the ability to naturally produce testosterone.
This specific image centers around my inner dilemma and relationship with taking the hormone itself.
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#9 Weakness
My biggest weakness when it comes to my gender is my bottom dysphoria. It’s not talked about often by the trans community because it’s a sensitive topic. For me, it’s something that’s never going to go away. There are options yes, but for me, I don’t know that I will ever consider them. Coming to that conclusion has been difficult for me.
This piece captures my weakness and my process of coming to terms with my decisions about bottom surgery.
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#10 Constant Battle
As the last piece in this collection I wanted it to be the only one where my face is in view. The reason being, that although I may be confident in how I look and a lot happier than I ever was at the beginning of my journey, dysphoria does not just go away. It becomes easier to deal with yes, but gender dysphoria is something trans people live with. It’s something that we need to face everyday when we wake up.
This last piece represents that everyday battle with dysphoria I face everyday when I see myself. I wanted this as the last piece in my collection because it’s a reminder that although gender dysphoria does not define me, it is an everyday struggle I face within myself.